Be Enough...

Am I Enough?

Smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, articulate enough, confident enough?

Most days, my answer to all of those questions is no.

Elena, author of Ciao Mom, was inspired by Alexandra of Good Day, Regular People, to start a really important linkup – she encouraged her readers and friends to write a list of things we like about ourselves. The purpose is to help us remember to accept ourselves despite our imperfections. To send a message to ourselves, society, and our children, that finding the good in ourselves is essential to increasing our self confidence.

It's a Monday morning. I decided to star the week off right and publish this little manifesto about who I am and why I like myself. Because I need to remember that I am enough. That I am worth loving. That there is beauty and strength in me. A reminder I will have to see here on my blog until my heart feels safe enough to write again.

So......

I like my eyes. They are hazel like my dad's, but more green than brown.

I like my freckles. I like to think they help distract from some of the signs of aging on my face! Also, they're a little more girlish than grown up. They reveal my Irish heritage, which I am very attached to and proud of.

I like that I have had the confidence to be a little bit out of the mainstream, and to be raising my children to be a little bit outside the mainstream. Openminded. Going with their gut. Following their hearts.

I like that I have had three successful homebirths, and am blessed that they all had a safe outcome.

I like that I can be playful and silly with my kids, and that it blesses me as much as it blesses them.

I like that I enjoy the variety and appreciate the value of having friends outside my particular experience of living: different religions, cultures, sexual preferences.

I like that I am outgoing and social, and connect quickly and easily with others.

I like my affectionate nature. That I am quick to hug, to touch your arm, to outwardly show that I care about you.

I like my ear for harmony, that I can sing, and how much music affects me emotionally. It's great therapy, and it speaks for me when words fail.

I like that I have found an ability to write, and that I can take pride in my writing. It's so rare for me to really believe I am good at something.

I like that I can stay calm and be strong in a crisis, that I don't fall apart. I've had to endure some hard stuff to develop that ability, but I am grateful to have it.

I like my super-sensitive empathetic nature. It's hard on the heart, but at the same time, so much a part of who I am. I was without it for several years when I became numb, detached, and barricaded due to severe depression, and I almost revel in my ability to feel deeply again. It's integral to my sense of compassion, and ability to connect with people.

I like my natural ability and willingness to encourage others and to accept them where they are

I like the transparency and approachableness I have that encourages people to be transparent with me in return, to confide their dark stuff, and to know it is safe with me.

I like my ability to listen and really hear and be affected by what people confide in me. It's such a privilege to listen to someone's heart like that.

I like that I have the desire to research subjects that affect me and my family: pregnancy, birth, immunization, parenting, education, aspergers and autism, sensory processing disorder, girls and adhd.. and that the research has made me informed and able to be an advocate for subjects that are important to me.

I like that even though I have struggled with depression and anxiety, I have overcome the shame and stigma and fear, and have a desire to speak out, advocate for, and encourage others with similarly invisible disabilities.

I like that my friends and family know, really know, that I love them. That I am successful in communicating how much I care about them and have proven that I am loyal and dependable. My circle has gotten a lot smaller in the last few years, but my relationships are so much richer now.

I like that I am feeling brave. Today. Here's to more brave days.

I am linking up in the name of sisterhood, self confidence, self esteem, and noticing the good in myself with other women doing the same...

Author's Note: I'll be a little revealy here... even though I have become a lot more guarded lately, and life continues to be hard and dark and not providing me with much of a sense of what the future holds. I can only take one day at a time, sometimes only a few hours at a time, because looking further ahead than that seems too intimidating and I fight for optimism every day. I don't talk about it much here or anywhere else. But because I love Elena and what she is doing for women, I am pushing away the voices of self defeat, the fear, the waning emotional endurance, and the lack of creativity today. I haven't been inspired to write in so long. I'm glad to have found the sense of responsibility to myself and to my readers to publish this. I am grateful that you are here to listen, and that my readers have helped make me feel safe to share as little or as much as I want to on my blog. I'd love it if you'd link up with me over there. Just follow the blog button above to participate.